-
Trying to Stay Calm While Everything Is on the Line
Welp. Today is the day. The day we finally get to tour the place we applied for and meet the guy who owns it. I woke up already tense, because trying to stay calm while everything is on the line feels nearly impossible right now. Of course, it can’t just be a simple “show up and be ourselves” situation. My partner’s mom has turned it into a whole production. She’s telling us how to dress, what to wear, making my partner shave his beard, all of it. Like we’re auditioning for something instead of just trying to find a place to live. Then came the part that really set me…
-
Holding It Together in Uncertainty
Trying to Hold It Together While Everything Is Uncertain Right now, everything feels like it’s hanging in the balance, and I’m doing my best at holding it together in uncertainty. As of yesterday, we still hadn’t heard back about the place we’ve been waiting on. Today, that finally shifted, sort of. The landlord got back to my partner’s mom yesterday afternoon and said he wants to meet us tomorrow so we can tour the place and he can meet us in person before making a final decision. So we’re not approved. We’re not denied. We’re just… waiting again. At least this time there’s a plan attached to the waiting, but…
You May Also Like
When Stress Comes From Every Direction and You’re Still Standing
-
Waiting for Answers Without Breaking
Waiting for Answers Without Breaking: It’s Harder Than You Thank Today is January 5th, and we are still sitting here waiting. Waiting to hear if we got the place. Waiting for a call, a text, anything that tells us what happens next. At this point, waiting for answers without breaking feels like its own full-time job. What makes it harder is that the landlord was so confident he wanted us moved in by today. January 5th. And yet, here we are, with no approval, no denial, just silence. My partner’s mom is handling the communication, and she plans to reach out this afternoon to see where things stand. I’m grateful…
-
Living Grateful and Traumatized
Living Grateful and Traumatized at the Same Time It’s Sunday, but it feels like every other day since we’ve been here, and that sameness is starting to wear on me in ways I don’t know how to fix. Sundays are supposed to feel quieter, slower, maybe even a little safer, but instead I’m stuck living grateful and traumatized at the same time. Today doesn’t feel restful at all. It just feels heavy. My partner’s mom is off work, which means her boyfriend is also home. That also means the arguing has already started, and none of it is actually about today. It’s about the past. Years and years ago. And…
-
Creating While Exhausted
Still Creating While Exhausted: Writing, Waiting, and Holding On Lately, I have been thinking a lot about what it means to still be creating while exhausted. Not just tired, but emotionally wrung out, physically drained, and stretched thin in every direction. Today feels like one of those days where everything is heavy, and yet, somehow, I am still here, still building, still hoping. Back at the beginning of November 2025, I started writing a novel for NaNoWriMo under my pen name, Ravyn Vale. The book is called The Burning Bride, the first planned novel in a four-book series called The Fire Court Saga. I poured myself into it and made…
-
My Daughter’s Birthday Far Away
My Daughter’s Birthday Far Away, and the Love That Still Shows Up Today is my daughter Chloe’s 11th birthday, and I honestly do not know how that sentence is real. Eleven. Somehow the tiny baby I once held is now a full-on human with opinions, interests, and a personality that keeps evolving right in front of me, even from far away. Celebrating my daughter’s birthday far away never gets easier, but it has taught me a lot about love, grief, and showing up in different ways. Chloe lives in Georgia with her dad, and I miss her like crazy. That part never stops hurting. But I refuse to let distance…
-
Starting Over in 2026
Starting Over in 2026: Tired, Hopeful, and Still Standing If I’m being honest, starting over in 2026 feels less like a fresh start and more like dragging myself across the finish line with one shoe missing. 2025 was brutal. In August, we lost our home. Not “downsized” or “moved on purpose.” Lost. We ended up in my partner’s mom’s boyfriend’s basement, which sounds temporary and harmless until you live it. It was toxic. Constant tension. Drama that clung to the walls. The kind of environment where you never really exhale. About a week later, I landed in the Emergency Room with chest pain. What I thought was anxiety turned into…
