Starting Over in 2026: Tired, Hopeful, and Still Standing

If I’m being honest, starting over in 2026 feels less like a fresh start and more like dragging myself across the finish line with one shoe missing.

2025 was brutal. In August, we lost our home. Not “downsized” or “moved on purpose.” Lost. We ended up in my partner’s mom’s boyfriend’s basement, which sounds temporary and harmless until you live it. It was toxic. Constant tension. Drama that clung to the walls. The kind of environment where you never really exhale.

About a week later, I landed in the Emergency Room with chest pain. What I thought was anxiety turned into a three day hospital stay and a brand new diagnosis: Sick Sinus Syndrome. Basically, my heart does whatever it wants. Fast. Slow. Skip. Like a scratched CD that refuses to settle on a track. Fun times.

Then, because the universe apparently wasn’t done yet, my partner was rear-ended by a drunk driver five houses from where we were staying. He had just picked up my prescription from the pharmacy. Our only vehicle was totaled. Just like that.

New Job Opportunity, Nope

Two weeks before Christmas, my best friend in South Carolina helped me get work with a company called Outlier.AI. It was perfect. Work from home. No phones. Training AI by rating responses. For a minute, it felt like things might finally be turning around.

Then a week before Christmas, they quietly fired 1,200 people for having “too many workers on the project.” I found out today that I was one of them. They framed it as “quality reviews,” which honestly felt like a cop-out. In my opinion, not a great company to work for. Since then, I’ve been searching for another work from home job that does not involve being on the phone all day. Between my health and my four-year-old who runs, talks, and yells like it’s her job, that kind of work just isn’t realistic for me.

Christmas Miracles

Right before Christmas, we did catch one small break. We received a settlement from the drunk driver’s insurance and were able to buy another vehicle. We went from a Ford Fusion to an older Ford Escape. I haven’t driven an SUV in forever, so I still feel like I’m steering a boat sometimes. But it has automatic seat adjustments, up and down, front and back, and that alone feels luxurious right now.

Christmas itself was… good. The kids had an amazing day. Ours wasn’t bad either. And somehow, it was the only day in that basement that wasn’t fueled by drama and bullshit. That peace alone felt like a gift.

Starting Over in 2026: Hope for the Future

A day or two after Christmas, there was a massive argument between my partner’s mom and her boyfriend. I won’t get into details, but it pushed her to have us start looking for a place nearby. I found one. Three bedrooms. Two full bathrooms. Bigger than the basement. Bigger than the house we lost. For this area, it would be an absolute steal.

We applied. With our credit and a past eviction, we are not very hopeful. We should find out by the end of the week. I’m trying not to get attached, but that’s easier said than done.

Someone Has a Birthday Coming

Tomorrow is my daughter’s birthday. My second youngest is turning 11, which feels impossible. She’s into cosplay, which makes my heart ridiculously happy. She’s respectful, smart, funny, and always trying to do the right thing. Watching her grow into the person she’s becoming makes me proud and also painfully aware of how fast time is moving. Every year she gets older, I feel it in my bones.

---

So here we are. A new year. A tired version of me. But also a hopeful one. After everything 2025 threw at us, starting over in 2026 doesn’t feel glamorous. It feels cautious, fragile, and very real.

Starting Over in 2026: Resolutions

I do have goals for this year. Not flashy resolutions. Real ones.

First, I want to prioritize myself. I spend every single day putting everyone else first, including at the expense of my health and mental health. This year, I want to matter too. Even if it’s just a little.

Second, I want to improve my physical and mental health. I’m exhausted. I live in doctors’ offices and hospitals. I want to stop surviving and start actually taking care of myself.

Third, I want to quit smoking cigarettes for good. I’ve tried before and failed. I don’t want to fail this time. And for anyone who says, “just put them down and don’t pick them up,” congratulations on having that experience. That doesn’t make it universal. Addiction is not one-size-fits-all, and I’m allowed to struggle while still wanting to quit.

And fourth, I want to find a work from home job that pays decently and doesn’t require me to be glued to a phone all day. I don’t have the emotional bandwidth for that, and my toddler absolutely will not allow it anyway.

That’s where I’m starting over in 2026. Tired. Hopeful. Guarded. Still standing.

More Tomorrow.

Question:

What is one thing you are carrying into this new year that you wish you didn’t have to, and one thing you are hoping to finally let go of?