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Feeling Pushed to My Limit While the Snow Keeps Falling
As predicted in yesterday’s post, When Stress Comes From Every Direction and You’re Still Standing, I woke up feeling pushed to my limit. Round two of the texting drama started. Apparently my partner committed two unforgivable offenses: Let’s start with the obvious. The man works from 4 pm until 6 or sometimes 7 am, Monday through Friday. He works nights. He comes home when most people are making coffee. Of course he sleeps during the day. The expectation that he should be awake and available to respond instantly to texts is unrealistic. Second, we are not setting up auto deposits into a bank account we have no access to. We…
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When Stress Comes From Every Direction and You’re Still Standing
Yesterday was okay-ish. Not good. Not terrible. Just… okay-ish. The kind of day where nothing explodes, but nothing feels calm either. The kind of day where you realize when stress comes from every direction, even small things feel amplified. We got one full day without his mom popping up, criticizing, or demanding anything. That peace lasted exactly 24 hours. The Text Message Drama That Wasn’t My Fault Apparently my partner had asked his mom to borrow $30. Instead of just handling that conversation with him, she texted me about it. Then she told me not to tell him she had said anything to me. That alone was enough to make…
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Holding It Together in Uncertainty
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The Friends Who Hold You Together When Everything Feels Heavy
If you’ve been following since the first of the year, you already know it’s been a lot. We’ve been blessed and stressed at the same time. We moved. We rebuilt. We set boundaries. We navigated tension. And somewhere in all of that chaos, I’ve been thinking about the friends who hold you together when your life feels like it’s constantly shifting. Because I would not have survived this past year without mine. The One Who Came and Got Me My oldest friend lives in South Carolina now, but our story started when I was nineteen. I was working for Waffle House, INC. with her brother. I was fresh out on…
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Trying to Build a Life of Our Own
Trying to Build a Life of Our Own Without Feeling Watched We finally got internet yesterday, and I did not realize how much I missed it until it was back. It sounds dramatic, but getting connected again felt like another small step toward trying to build a life of our own. Not in someone’s basement. Not under someone’s rules. Just… ours. I caught up on Monday Night Raw. I watched a few episodes of Supernatural. The toddler got her Bluey back. During the day she mostly lets it run in the background while she tears through the house playing, narrating her own little world. But still, the familiarity of it…
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Setting Boundaries With Family When Your Not a Child
I knew this was coming. Back in my January 7th post, Trying to Stay Calm While Everything is on the Line, I said I had a feeling this would turn into an issue of setting boundaries with family. I said if we got the place, my partner’s mom would still try to control how we show up, how we live, and how we handle things. Welp. I was right. She showed up yesterday. She texted from the parking lot, which gave me exactly zero time to mentally prepare. Not that anything needed to be done. I’ve been unpacking and cleaning nonstop since we moved in. The house is fine. We…
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Apartment Maintenance Issues and Real Life
Last night was rough, and apartment maintenance issues and real life made sure I knew it. I slept on my daughter’s twin mattress on the floor in the four year old’s room again, and I am officially too old for that. The second I laid down with her, she was out cold. I was not. My back, my hips, and my entire body were painfully aware that floor level sleep is not for me anymore. Apartment Maintenance Issues and the Toilet Surprise We found our first major problem Sunday night, and it was not subtle. When the teenager flushed the main bathroom toilet, water came pouring out of the tank…
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Moving Into Our New Place
Today is my birthday. I am 39 years old, and we are officially moving into our new place. I do not think I could have asked for a better birthday gift than this. Stability. Space. A door that closes and belongs to us. Yesterday went better than I ever expected. The Facebook Marketplace Miracle We met the woman from Facebook Marketplace, and she was real. Not a scam. Not a weird situation. Just a genuinely kind human being. She is close to our age and has dual citizenship in the United States and Europe. She is moving back to Rome, Italy. Most of her friends are there, and even though…
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Getting Ready to Move
Today feels different. There is an energy in the air because we are officially getting ready to move, and it no longer feels like a distant possibility. It feels real. Tomorrow is move-in day. After months in this basement and all the tension that has come with it, the idea of leaving feels like breathing again. I did not realize exactly how heavy this space has felt until we started packing it up. Meeting the Facebook Marketplace Lady Part of getting ready to move today includes meeting the woman from Facebook Marketplace who offered to donate a bunch of items to us. We are going to inventory everything and figure…
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Things Are Starting to Look Up
Apart from the controlling aspect of yesterday with how to dress, what to wear, and how to present ourselves, the day actually turned out to be a good one. After everything we have been through, it feels strange to say this, but things are starting to look up. We met with the landlord for the place we applied to and finally got to see it in person. The pictures truly did not do it justice. It is a three bedroom, two full bathroom apartment with a big living room, a decent sized dining room, and a small but functional kitchen. The kitchen actually has cabinet space, which is something our…
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Starting Over in 2026
Starting Over in 2026: Tired, Hopeful, and Still Standing If I’m being honest, starting over in 2026 feels less like a fresh start and more like dragging myself across the finish line with one shoe missing. 2025 was brutal. In August, we lost our home. Not “downsized” or “moved on purpose.” Lost. We ended up in my partner’s mom’s boyfriend’s basement, which sounds temporary and harmless until you live it. It was toxic. Constant tension. Drama that clung to the walls. The kind of environment where you never really exhale. About a week later, I landed in the Emergency Room with chest pain. What I thought was anxiety turned into…
